


my lips are chapped and faded

by fzywood



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Angst, Crying, M/M, ventfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 02:28:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9578447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fzywood/pseuds/fzywood
Summary: He had to do this. He couldn't let him close or else he would be hurt too.





	

**Author's Note:**

> today was a rough day and it consisted of a lot of crying so here's this because i feel like shit but i hope u all had a good day.

Ryan had never, and never wanted to, fall in love. He was scared of all of the commitment that would come along with the relationship. He was scared of all of the warm fuzzy feelings in his chest that would always want to burst out whenever his eyes fell on the blonde. He was scared of the late night thoughts that would clog his mind whenever he thought about what if their relationship wasn’t true. He was scared of getting too close and letting them be hurt. At first, he meant to use the blonde as a fun toy for lonely nights but soon those fun nights turned into nights where instead of exploring each others bodies with loud moans and messy sheets, they explored each other's lives. They learned each other's fears and hopes, each other's wishes and mainly, each others feelings. 

Ryan wasn’t good for Bryce. Ryan had a troubled past that included a dead mom and a dad who couldn’t care less about his child. His dad was always at work so Ryan had quickly learned to build walls and act as if emotions didn’t exist. Nobody had been able to penetrate those walls for years but now a certain blonde had found some sort of way to do it and Ryan didn’t need to hurt someone else in the mess of his life. He knew Bryce liked him, and he liked Bryce the same way back, but he couldn’t like Bryce. He couldn’t let someone close. Everyone feared him and to be hanging with Bryce, the school’s goody two shoes kid who was popular amongst everyone was  _ bad. _ That meant people would think he was safe to be around which he wasn’t. He couldn’t let Bryce any closer.

“Wh-Who’s this?” Bryce stuttered as Ryan pulled away from making out with some random girl he found outside of the school who was not opposed to their make out session.

Ryan had to do this to make sure that Bryce wouldn’t be hurt.

“My next toy.” Ryan said as he gave one last kiss to the girl before shooing her off.

“Ryan.. I thought you loved me..” Bryce said as his usual confident posture had disappeared and his expression dropped to anything but positive.

“You’re an idiot if you thought I cared about you.” Ryan said coldly and he almost hugged the blonde when he saw Bryce flinch at his harsh words.

“But we spent those nights talking about everything. I learned so much Ryan and I know you must love me somewhere in there.” Bryce said loudly, clutching his fists against the sides of his body.

“Just accept that you’re nothing to me Bryce.” Ryan’s heart broke at the tear that rolled down the other’s pale cheek.

“But.. But I was different. You told me about everyth-”

“How are you sure that I didn’t make all of that shit up?” Ryan asked sharply, faking a smirk upon his lips as Bryce began to let more tears fall from his eyes.

“You know Ryan.. I would do anything for you and you know why? Because I love you.” Bryce said as he wiped tears from his cheeks and walked closer to Ryan, holding out his hands in a last attempt and Ryan almost did it.

How he wished that he didn’t have to do this.

“Thanks.” Ryan said and turned, walking away from Bryce as the blonde stayed silent.

As soon as Ryan was far away enough, he began to cry his own tears. He hurt Bryce for the better. If he kept Bryce around, he would’ve damaged the blonde. He had to do that.

That’s what Ryan kept telling himself.


End file.
